He is one.

He. Is. One. WHAT!? ONE?? Where did the year go!? How is this possible?? 

I cannot even fathom that just about a year ago my water broke. We drove to the hospital on a cold cold march night. Seventeen hours later with my husband, best friend, mom and mother in law by my side. With no epidural and after the most peaceful hour and a half of skin to skin with my little boy it had sunk in. I was a momma! Here we are, one whole year later. Working on weaning from breastfeeding to whole milk. Working on sleeping through the night because I'm a push over (though Nate is too!). Working on learning to talk and walk. I'm still a momma!!! 

I love every single second of my life as Reagan's mom. I won't lie, the first three months were a mess. I'm a total type A, want to be in control person. I had to learn the hard way that you cannot control a new born. Especially a breastfed newborn. Reagan wanted to nurse ALL. THE TIME. In the beginning and I was sure I was doing something wrong. Thankfully I have some amazing friends and family who assured me it was normal and he would out grow it. Things tapered off around three months and we found a routine!! At nine months along came a whole new battle of mastists... Still not sure how I caught that and it was AWFUL!!!!! Somehow I powered through!! Here we are at one year and he's down to nursing twice during the day and once in the middle of the night. He falls asleep with out nursing and has taken to whole milk like a champ. 

Reagan is the happiest baby ever. Not just because he is my baby, but really. He's so happy! Unless he is tired or hungry he doesn't cry. He smiles and waves to everyone he meets and has started to say "hi"! He also says "uh-oh" and "dada". And we swear he says "hi dada!!" He's starting to come up with a word for dog too! He will crawl up to our dogs and say the same sound every time! (Which side note, the dogs adore him and are SO good with him!) he has this crazy happy scream that is ear piercing! He laughs all the time. Reagan loves to read, he loves anything with wheels and he loves to build. He likes to play outside, he loves to go shopping. He's so easy going and happy and yes I know we are super duper blessed with him. 

This year has been so challenging, and so rewarding. I still have to take a step back and remind myself that I just don't have time to run as much as I want, still working on a work out routine and I do have a few pounds of baby weight I'd like to loose. Hopefully some spring weather will allow me more time to run with him the stroller!!! I have to remind myself that my house won't always be clean, and I may have to wait until the afternoon for time to shower. I have to remind myself that he's only going to be little for a moment in time, and that the hard moments will pass. I wouldn't trade any of it for anything. Nate and I have grown closer, we are no longer a "couple" we are a trio. I love my little family. I love the life God has blessed me with and I'm looking forward to the next year!! 

March 2nd we will throw a big birthday bash for Reagan. Yes I know he won't remember it. Yes this party is probably more for me than him, but I have a lot to celebrate!!! Plus, planning the party takes the sting off the fact that he's growing up so fast!! Many ask when we will have another, my answer used to be never. I'll be honest that was with the pain of a natural delivery fresh in my mind. They claim you will forget that, but it haven't. It was awful. However, I guess I'm starting to feel like if I did it once I could do it again! Not anytime soon, I want time with Reagan while he is small. Nate and I have talked about maybe when he is two or three we will talk about another. We are not ready yet, but as much as I didn't love being pregnant. As hard as labor was, and as tricky as their year has been, I can honestly say it's so worth it that we will probably do it again.... SOMEDAY! 

my little Reagan, 

 Happy happy birthday. You have brought so much joy to my life. You have brought so much joy to our entire family. When you flash that smile your heart shows. God has a big plan for you, I can see it! You know how to make others laugh and smile! You have a kind heart, just like your daddy and both your grandfathers. You're truly a special boy. I'm so blessed to have been able to spend this year home with you. You have made me complete.

 I love you,

 Mommy